September 11th

 Ten years ago, I was sitting in a classroom at Winter Haven High School.  The words "terrorism", "jihad", "national security", "Patriot Act" - none of them meant anything to me.  Then the principal made an announcement telling the teachers to turn the TVs on.  The image appeared just in time for us to witness the planes hitting the WTC towers and and the towers crumbling.  I couldn't believe what I was seeing - it looked like something staged in Hollywood for some action movie.  I felt scared for our country, and once I learned Washington DC was a target, too, I became very concerned.  Even as a 17 year old girl I knew this was the beginning of a new chapter for our country.

One  year ago, I thought Jonathan would never come home from the NICU as a healthy baby.  He was 70 days old and still on a breathing machine.  We had also just gotten news that he was almost certainly going to be blind unless the hospital would approve a radical surgical procedure to save his vision.  We waited anxiously for over 8 hours to hear the results of the emergency meeting that was called to determine if the procedure would be approved.  Thank God, it was.

On two accounts, 9 years apart, September 11th has taught me that whatever situation is immediately facing me may seem insurmountable; I may have no direction and be powerless to do anything.  But God is not that way.  He is sovereign.  He goes before me and makes a way when I can't see one.  He provides for me in all situations.  I thank God for the experiences He's given me, and in those times He has proven that He will never leave me nor forsake me.  He has upheld me with His victorious right hand.

This Thursday I will have outpatient surgery to have a cerclage put in place in hopes that I can carry Baby #2 to full-term.  I am not scared of the surgery.  I am guilty of being anxious about the rest of the pregnancy, though.  But all I need to do is think back to how the Lord has provided for me, and I am convicted of my lack of faith.  I am thankful for modern medicine, and the extra watch the doctors will keep over me during this pregnancy.  But more than that, I am thankful for the God who never sleeps nor slumbers, and who creates life within me, where no one can see.