Isaac Jeffrey is here!

Our family has been home together since Saturday afternoon.  Isaac fits right in (of course!) and Jonathan is such a sweet big brother.  Here are some pictures from the first day they met, and the day Isaac and mommy came home.

Of course Jonathan is just a blur - he is such a busy body!



So sweet, already showing little brother some love.



The C-section went really well, everything was right on time!  We arrived at the hospital at 6 am and we were so excited to know we were going to meet our son. 



The final preggo belly picture

All the nurses we had were so amazing and kind, it helped to make this experience a positive one from the beginning.  Like I said in the last post, we had really high hopes for Issac's birthday.

They wheeled me in to the operating room around 8:15 and did the spinal, removed my cerclage, and then went to work on delivering the baby.  There was a huge light directly above me that was surrounded by a metal disk, and in its reflection I could see everything the doctors were doing.  It was so awesome to see a little butt, then a little back followed by a head being pulled out from my stomach.  Until I saw something I couldn't identify at which time I knew I should look away or toss my cookies.

They let me get a glimpse of Isaac but took him out of the room quickly because it is so cold in there.  As the doctors stitched me up Daddy went to get Isaac cleaned up.  Jeff is so not good with blood or anything relating to blood, but he cut Isaac's cord which really surprised me!

He also thought to take a lot of pictures and video of Isaac's first bath and everything else that I couldn't be there for since I was still in surgery.  He is such a good husband and daddy!

When I was finally able to meet Isaac I was so overwhelmed.  God has been SO good to us for no reason other than that HE is good, and he loves us. 

I pushed myself to get out of bed and walk to the bathroom that night so the nurses would allow Isaac to stay in the room with me alone (their policy is if you have IVs the baby cannot be alone with you in the room and I wanted daddy to sleep at home in his comfy bed).  I finally was able to pass all their tests around 11 so I was really happy about that.  I hardly slept a wink that night, I was so busy nursing and just looking at Isaac.  He is such a miracle in a totally different way than Jonathan, but still a miracle.

I was able to prove I was strong enough to go home 2 days later instead of the usual 3.  I missed my home and being with my family so much.  They sent me home with a lot of pain meds which has helped but here I am 4 days post surgery and I am still pretty sore, but getting better every day.

We are so excited about this new addition to our family - Jeff and I must say at least once a day, "Can you believe we have two sons?!"  It's so crazy, but so amazing.  There is nothing like it.  It's also so cool that having another child just makes your heart grow so much.  I worried I would miss the days of it being a family of 3, but Jonathan has been more joyful than ever since we've all been together, and Isaac has been a really easy baby so far as well. 

Remembering Jonathan's birth...

As we approach the birth of our second son, I have been thinking about the birth of our first.  Here is what happened.  I expect tomorrow to be much different...

Last June, I went into preterm labor (before 37 weeks pregnant).  I didn't know that was what was happening to me until I went to the Regency Hospital in my hometown and the doctor told me so.  He said the baby would likely not survive if we chose to have him, and if we wanted to be aggressive about saving him I could be flown to a hospital 30 miles away. 

Less than an hour later Jeff was driving as fast as he could to get to the hospital in Orlando, and I was en route by helicopter.  I was drugged up on magnesium sulfate which made me feel like my skin was burning from the inside out.  To make matters worse I was flying in a helicopter that was more like a fishbowl with no A/C.  The paramedics that were with me were sweating through their flight suits.  I felt bad for them.  I also physically felt bad, and I kept telling myself "Don't pass out, we're almost to the hospital..."  In hindsight, it may have been the perfect place to pass out seeing I had medical professionals with me.

Once I got to the hospital I was rushed to the labor and delivery floor where the doctors did an ultrasound and saw that the baby was ok.  The Mag (magnesium) was working and my contractions had stopped, but I was already 70% effaced (translation: there wasn't much barrier between my baby and birth).  I was so hot and thirsty.  Jeff was by my side keeping a wet wash cloth on my forehead.  He kept asking the doctor if I could have water and hours later he finally allowed me to eat some ice chips.  Around midnight I was allowed to eat, but anything I ate I threw up.

The rest of the night I tried to rest.  I had electronic monitors on my stomach to monitor my contractions and the baby's heart rate.  Since Jonathan was so little at that point (I was 23 weeks along), he kept moving away from the monitor and the nurse would have to come back and and readjust it.  Whenever I had to get up to use the bathroom, I had to wake Jeff up, have him help me unplug myself from the monitors and pull my IV cart with me.

Once the doctor felt sure I was not on the verge of delivering a baby, I was moved to the high-risk unit, for women who, for whatever reason, were in danger of having a baby.  The room we were in was the size of a shoebox.  There were much bigger, nicer rooms we were told, but they were all occupied and as soon as one became available we would be moved.  Jeff had to sleep in a recliner that reclined only to a 45 degree angle, so he had to sleep with his feet propped up on the bed as there was no room in our tiny room for an air mattress or cot.

I did pretty well in that tiny room.  I had contractions still, but they were not strong and my cervix was holding strong.  I had a medicine pump in my leg which is basically a needle attached to what looked like a pager (like what was cool before cell phones).  I kept the pager clipped to my hospital-issued underwear (those are SO sexy) and the needle was always in my thigh.  It gave me medicine every so often to keep the contractions away. 

After a couple of days we were awakened to the wonderful news that we would be movin' on up to the east side, ie the new high-risk rooms.  These rooms were spacious, had wonderful views, mini fridges and a lot of them had their own bathrooms (with showers!)  But wouldn't you know it, I went into labor not long after we were moved to our beautiful room.  So back to L&D we went, and if I remember correctly I was back on the Mag.

Hours later, once I was cleared again, we were at the bottom rung of the high risk rooms, and went right back to our shoebox.  It was only a day until we were moved to a better room, so we were thankful for that.

Once we got back to our nice room, we settled in.  I had my mom bring me a bunch of snacks for the mini fridge and got all my books and stuff situated in my bed-side table.  I was in it for the long-haul and had made it to 24 weeks (which is the "edge of viability" - the earliest a baby can be born and have a fair chance of survival). 

A few days later I awoke with a lot of pelvic pressure and feeling like I had to pee all the time.  The nurse thought I had a UTI so she was going to test me.  Jeff was preparing to head home as he had to prepare to lead worship at church.  I had a feeling that it wasn't a UTI and that something might be wrong (although I had no contractions for over 24 hours), so the nurse told Jeff to stay until a doctor could examine me.  A short time later, the doctor came in and did a pelvic exam.  "I'm not sure, but I think I feel the baby's head... Yes, that's a head.  She's 4 centimeters dilated." 

That was it.  I was being rushed back to L&D with the nurse loudly announcing to everyone "WE HAVE A 24 WEEKER!"  She kept telling me how remarkable it was that I was so calm and I thought "Why wouldn't I be?"  I wasn't having contractions, was in no pain, and thought they'd probably put me back on the Mag and things would go back to normal.

About an hour after they moved me to L&D, the contractions were hurting.  I was gripping the side of the bed and couldn't talk when they came on.  The nurses were acting like it was no big deal, so I was trying not to freak out although I knew this was very different from the other times I had been to L&D.  After about 15 minutes of the painful contractions I informed the nurse I was either going to puke or mess the bed because of the intense pressure I was feeling.  Her advice was "Don't push."  "Yeah right!" I thought.  My mom and Jeff were with me trying to keep me calm until the doctor could come see me.  I started feeling like I had to push or I'd die, so I did and my water burst.  Once that happened Jeff ran out into the hallway to get a nurse. 

After my water broke, I felt immediate relief and the contractions stopped.  Nonetheless, Jeff was suited up in his paper suit and we were being taken to the operating room.  The doctor did an ultrasound and saw I was dilated to 6 centimeters, and Jonathan's head was barely 5 cm.  "This baby is coming, you're going to have to push."  I couldn't bear to open my eyes.  I was hyperventilating and can remember the nurse telling me, "Blow out the candle...in through your nose out through your mouth...blow out the candle."  I wanted to hit her.  I didn't want to face that I had failed at staying pregnant and I certainly didn't want to deliver my baby 16 weeks before he was due.  But I pushed when they told me to, I think it was 3 times.  Once he was born I remember Jeff telling me to open my eyes and see my son.  I didn't want to.  I didn't want any of that to be happening because it was a sure death sentence for my first child.  But I did.  I heard him whimper once and then they passed him through what looked like a drive through window into the NICU.  The nurses all remarked how great it was that he made a tiny noise. 

I remember Jeff saying, "Praise God!" once Jonathan came out.  I thought to myself "Why is he saying that?  This is a horrible situation."

I laid on the table in a daze while the doctors and nurses did whatever they had to do to me.  I tried to block everything out.  I felt ashamed and like a failure.

About an hour or so later I was put in a wheelchair and taken to the NICU to see my son, Jonathan, which means "gift from God".  I had never seen anything so tiny and helpless as he laid there squirming, IVs running through his tiny body, eyes fused shut.  I didn't have much experience with newborns, but I knew they weren't supposed to look like that.

Later we were put in our new room on the maternity floor.  I could hear babies being rolled up and down the hallway, where their mothers were waiting in their rooms to nurse their little bundles of joy and cuddle with them.  I, on the other hand, got cozy with a breast pump and waited for the visit from the neonatologist.

The news was grim: Jonathan was born at less than 2 pounds with an E. Coli infection in his bloodstream, and it may or may not be in his spinal fluid and brain.  His lungs were severely underdeveloped.  In short, he was very sick and all things considered the outlook was not good.  The doctor told us he would know more if Jonathan survived the next 48 hours.

Until I was discharged from the hospital a couple of days later, I would pump and Jeff and I would take the milk down to the NICU where it would be put in a freezer for if and when Jonathan was ready to tolerate it.  We spent a lot of time by his incubator praying for him and crying, but trying to be strong in front of our family, who was as distraught as we were.  I can remember one day in the cafeteria with my mom where I finally broke down crying, saying "I should still be pregnant.  It isn't fair that he is struggling to live.  He should still be safe inside me."  I had to be reminded that he was sick inside of me and had he not been born, he might have died.

The day I was discharged, we were blessed to have a room at the Ronald McDonald House to go to, so we were only a block away.  I had been at the hospital for a week already, though, so we had a lot of stuff to take with us.  I had been given flowers and an "It's a Boy!" balloon, which was tied to the wheelchair.  As I was being wheeled out with all my stuff and my balloon, I tried to avoid all the looks that asked "Where is the baby?"

I cried driving the block from the hospital to the McDonald House because we were leaving our baby behind in a medical institution, and there was no body and no amount of money that could get him out.

116 days later, we were finally able to bring him home with us.  We had dreamed of that day for so long, and a few times we thought death would claim our son before we had the chance to bring him home.  But thank God for saving our son.  Jonathan has lived up to his name in every sense; God has truly given us such a great gift.

Jonathan the day he was born, and now at 20 months old.

Tomorrow morning around 8:30 we will meet our second son, Isaac.  I'm not sure what his birth story will be like, but God is faithful and he is good; I have high hopes. 

If you want to read more in detail about Jonathan's hospital stay, click on the CaringBridge link at the top of the page.
 

The last Monday I'll be pregnant

So maybe it's not THE last Monday, but for this go-round it is!

For my friends and family who haven't seen me lately -

39 weeks and looking very round.

Me and Jonathan - he is so silly!

March is a big month for us.  On top of having a new baby, my mother-in-law, myself, and my sister-in-law all have birthdays this month.  Our wedding anniversary is this month.  AND the Hunger Games comes out!  I am really looking forward to what else the Lord has in store for us besides what's on my calendar. 

God willing, the next time I post it will be to show off a beautiful newborn boy!  Three more days...

We're having a baby this week!!

This is one of the most exciting posts I've written!

The baby has been breech for months, so my doctor has scheduled a c-section for this upcoming Thursday.  The hospital called yesterday to give me all the info I would need to be ready.  I think the hardest part is going to be going without food or coffee in the morning, but then again I will be so excited I think I'll manage!  If I was smart, I would have weaned myself from coffee by now, but we just got a Keurig so there's no way that's gonna happen now - those things make coffee fun!

I spent the day getting last-minute things done:  cleaning the ball-and-chain (aka Medela pump); buying replacement pump parts and slow flow nipples; gathering clothes that need to be washed in the special baby detergent; and getting our family's new ride - a minivan!  That's right, we have a minivan.  I never thought I'd drive one (I actually always said I'd never drive one.  But as a young, wise, baby-faced, Canadian-born pop singer said: "Never say never.")  Anyway, after comparing multiple cars in our price range nothing compared to the van for a family with 2 car seats and a 75lb furry son (aka Wesley, our chocolate lab).

If you are reading this, I hope you are as excited as we are!

Full Term baby!! (PS I am not a theologian).

We made it!  Thirty seven weeks pregnant - I have to admit there was a time when we doubted if we'd get this far.  I am so relieved and can't wait to meet our healthy, chunky termie!  FYI: termie is what parents of preemies/people-in-the-know call full-term babies. ;)

I wanted to share that info. but I also wanted to share something of a more spiritual significance and I hope someone can benefit from it as I did.

To begin, I read my Bible using Professor Horner's Bible Reading System.  If you click on the name it will take you to a pdf that explains it - I highly recommend it for many reasons, one being that you cover 10 chapters a day, some are in the Old Testament and some in the New.  Some days, like today, the chapters overlap and a theme emerges that makes me think, "Hmm, guess that is an important concept to God."

I began in Numbers 11.  The Israelites are complaining about the "good ol' days" back in Egypt where although they were slaves, they had all the food they wanted, but now all they had to eat was manna (but they were free).  So God tells Moses that the people will have enough quail to feed them for days; they'll have so much they'll be sick of it.  And Moses replies, "God, we have over 600,000 soldiers with us!  Even if we kill every animal we own and catch every fish in the sea it won't be enough."  Of course, he forgets he is talking to the CREATOR of the UNIVERSE.  But instead of belittling Moses, God just says, "Is there any limit to my power?"

Lesson: God doesn't like when we complain so don't do it, and don't doubt God's resources.

After that chapter, following the reading system, I go to 2 Corinthians 6 where Paul describes all the hardships he has endured.  Throughout all the beatings, starving, freezing, sleepless nights and heartache, he still recognizes that there is great hope in Jesus.  He doesn't look at his relationship with God in terms of all the bad things that have happened to him - he views it despite them.  He still talks about his "purity, understanding, patience, kindness, love and power of the Holy Spirit."  He has every right to be sick and tired of it all, but he clings to these fruits of the Spirit and finds peace and relief in them.

Lesson:  I haven't been through anything as bad as Paul describes, yet when life stresses me out, I neglect to see the great gifts God has given me in my life.  Not material things, but the intangible eternal things, like the ones Paul mentions.  Circumstances shouldn't dictate my attitude - Jesus should.

So all this is starting to click in my head now.  Next in the system is 1 Peter 5.  In verses 6-7 Peter says, "So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and in his good time he will honor you.  Give all your worries to God, for he cares about what happens to you."  Later in verses 10-11 he says, "In his kindness, God called you to his eternal glory by means of Jesus Christ.  After you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation.  All power is his forever and ever.  Amen." (emphasis mine)

Lesson:  I am going to suffer, but that doesn't mean God doesn't care about what happens to me.  He is kind, and he promises to provide for me from his unlimited resources.

To top it all off, I then read Psalm 121: 

¹ I look up to the mountains—
does my help come from there?
² My help comes from the LORD,
who made heaven and earth!

³ He will not let you stumble;
the one who watches over you will not slumber.
⁴ Indeed, he who watches over Israel
never slumbers or sleeps.

⁵ The LORD himself watches over you!
The LORD stands beside you as your protective shade.
⁶ The sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon at night.

⁷ The LORD keeps you from all harm
and watches over your life.
⁸ The LORD keeps watch over you as you come and go,
both now and forever.

This is what put me over the top and I thought, "I have to write this down!"  So I decided to share publicly in case there was someone else out there who God is trying to reach with his message of perseverance under trails.  We can keep going and we can even be HAPPY (?!) when we face trials because God LOVES us and he is keenly aware of all we are going through!

As my due date approaches, I have found myself becoming more and more anxious.  Since the baby is still breech, the doctors did not remove my cerclage.  Since they didn't remove it, I need to report to the hospital immediately once I start having contractions so they can remove it and I can dilate without injuring myself (assuming the baby has flipped head-down).  However, if the baby is still breech chances are they will administer an emergency c-section and remove the stitch at that time.  I have been having Braxton Hicks contractions lately that are much stronger than before, so I am constantly wondering, "OK, is this it?  Should I be getting ready to go?"  I am trying to mentally prepare myself for the hard work of labor, but I may have a c-section and not need to worry about pushing and breathing through contractions.

BUT, in light of everything I just shared with you, I am wasting my time with these thoughts.  I even wasted my time and yours by writing that last paragraph because the God of the universe, who has the power to raise people from the dead, is creating this baby inside of me and he will bring him into the world just the way he wants.  God cares about me, and the baby.  He wants me to be at peace and to trust him.  He has given me a full-term pregnancy and I have not had one single issue during the last 37 weeks, praise God for that! 

To sum it all up (I am speaking to myself here, but you probably need to hear this too):  STOP COMPLAINING!  The Lord is trying to do work in your life, and it will be an awesome work because he is infinitely more wise than us and he loves us!  Stop longing for the "easier times", and stop looking at the negatives.  Remember all the good that there still is; dwell on the blessings you have despite the tough circumstances you are in.  Then, as Peter said, "After you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. All power is his forever and ever. Amen"

³³ Seek the Kingdom of God above all else,

and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

³⁴ “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries.

Today’s trouble is enough for today."

-Matthew 6:33-34

6 Months Pregnant and Wiser

We are 26 weeks and 4 days pregnant, which is 15 days further along than we were when Jonathan was born (yes, this is how I measure my pregnancy - by how much further we are this time!).

24 weeks pregnant with current baby boy.

23 weeks pregnant with Jonathan.

I am going through some new things that I didn't get to with Jonathan, such as maternity pants becoming too tight; stretch marks; forceful kicks to the bladder; becoming easily winded; drinking disgusting liquid for a glucose test (that's tomorrow so technically I haven't experienced it yet but I hear it's unpleasant); and weighing more than I ever thought I would.

Because of all this, it's common for women in my stage of pregnancy to start to phase out of second trimester bliss and into third trimester misery.  I am susceptible to that, but I just read a letter written to a preemie named Charlotte by her mom, and it hit me hard (you can read it here).  How can I possibly complain about this?  Have I already forgotten the sleepless nights, the constant burden of having a baby who was born too small and too soon?  Is it possible I don't remember the weight of knowing I couldn't just take my baby and go home, yet somehow I was expected to take care of myself?  I have been so caught up in life as I now know it, that the horrors of the NICU seem like a distant memory; carrying my newborn around as he is connected to a continuous flow of oxygen and strapped to make sure he is breathing and his heart is beating is a faint memory.  I hardly remember the hours of physical therapy we have been through - some of it so strenuous that Jonathan would cry for 20-30 minutes straight while the therapist tried to teach him the most basic developmental skills that came unnaturally to him because he spent so much time laying flat in the hospital.

How dare I take one second of this pregnancy for granted; how could I possibly complain about any of this?  God was (and is) so good - He brought our baby Jonathan through what seemed like certain death and he is the light of our lives.  And now God is giving us another great gift by allowing our second son to stay safe inside of Mommy where he should be.  And if that makes me uncomfortable then so be it!

It's sad that after all we've been through I can so easily forget that pregnancy is nothing compared to the nightmare that is prematurity, and I am not exaggerating.  But this is my wake-up call and I will not complain.  I lost the privilege to be one of those complaining pregnant ladies who says, "I can't wait to get this baby out,"; prematurity stole it from me just as it stole the joy that comes with having your first baby; I was robbed of being wheeled out of the hospital with my newborn and everyone telling me "Congratulations!"  Instead, I couldn't bear to open my eyes to see the birth of my son - I felt ashamed and saddened that he was born; people gave me weird looks as I was wheeled out of the hospital with flowers and "It's a boy!" balloons, but no baby.  No matter how thankful I am for our son Jonathan, I would never want to endure that situation again.

Now it looks like I will get that chance to have a "normal" pregnancy.  We have 3 more months to go, and I thank God for every day I get to experience.  And I recognize I wouldn't realize the brightness of this gift if it weren't for the darkness I experienced by it being taken from me.

My Prematurity Rant

I usually don't get caught up in "celebrity" stuff, but being Prematurity Awareness month I can't hold my tongue. 

Michelle Duggar (of the TLC show 19 Kids and Counting) is pregnant AGAIN.  She had her last baby at 25 weeks due to severe preeclampsia (read about her last pregnancy here).  She has an estimated 60% chance of developing that condition again with this pregnancy, to which the only cure is delivering her baby; so she has a 60% chance of having an extremely premature baby, who in turn has a high chance of not surviving, or suffering from life-long medical complications (read about extreme prematurity here). 



As you probably know, I had an extremely premature baby last year (at 24 weeks).  Doctors are still not positive why he came so early, but they think it was due to an infection of the amniotic fluid, or an incompetent cervix.  I had a surgical procedure to strengthen my cervix (I am currently 22 weeks preggo and holding strong!), and I am being monitored for any infections or signs of preterm labor.  In short, although I had one preemie, the odds are not in my favor of having another one (unlike the Duggar baby  machine).  I'm saying this to qualify myself as someone who can speak her 2 cents.

You may be asking "Why does it matter if she has another one?"  Well, for one thing, the nature of preeclampsia is so dangerous, that seeing as she already has 19 kids and 2 gandkids, it is an extreme risk to impose on herself and her unborn baby.  Along with the stress on the rest of the family that accompanies having a baby in intensive care, preemies as early as hers is likely to be have medical problems that last long after hospital discharge.  My son Jonathan, for example, is 16 months old and is still undergoing physical therapy; breathing treatments; brain MRIs every 6-12 months; and monthly vaccinations to protect him from a common cold virus (RSV).  And he is considered a 24-weeker miracle!  Many babies born before 28 weeks have all these problems but to a more debilitating degree.

In addition to the health risk to her and her baby, a preemie costs a lot of money.  I am sure the Duggars' insurance and money from their TV show is sufficient to pay any hospital bills, but taxpayers can still end up footing at least some of the bill  Any baby born below 1200 grams automatically qualifies for disability under SSI and receives Medicaid during and for up to a year after their hospital stay.  NICUs are expensive places:  Jonathan's total bill was over $1,000,000, and he was only there 4 months!  (I say "only" because there are many babies, some born later than him, who stay much longer).  If you continue to qualify for Medicaid after discharge (which baby Duggar may or may not), it pays for all medical treatments then, too.

In short, considering the tremendous burden she is putting on her body, plus the cost of having a preemie and the health risk she is running with her unborn baby I say why take a chance on having another unhealthy pregnancy and birth?  It is not fair to the baby, knowing that he or she may have to fight for their life for months in a hospital.  It isn't fair to ask your family to sacrifice and go through the horrible NICU experience again.  In some cases, having a preemie is preventable, even if that means you just don't get pregnant anymore.  Having a uterus does not mean you should use it!

Side note:  I realize there is a chance she will have a totally healthy pregnancy and carry full term, and I sincerely pray that is God's plan for her.  I know God can heal and accomplish things when doctors and statistics say it isn't possible.  That being said, I still believe in human responsibility and decision-making.  I could consider walking across I-4 as cars zoom by at 70 MPH and trust that God loves me and will care for me, but the chances of me getting hit and killed by a car are so good that I probably wouldn't take that chance.  God loves me so much that he gave me a functional brain with which to process such information and make the best decision I can.  I am thankful for that, and pray others would use their brains, too.

Thanks for letting me rant!

20 Weeks Preggo!

Since the last blog post I have gotten more pregnant, yay!  I have seen the doctor probably 3 times since the last post, and each time everything looked great!  We are so encouraged that we will carry closer to full-term (if not all the way).  I guess I will have to post the obligatory belly picture soon since I am starting to show.  The baby is moving constantly, and I love to feel him or her kicking and squirming, and watching my belly jump around.  I can't help but think of Psalm 139:13-16 that say,

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

It is so comforting to know that while we can see an imperfect picture of our baby on a sonogram, the Lord sees him or her perfectly, and is forming that little body inside of me; each day of his or her life is already known by Him.  Thank God nothing comes as a surprise to Him!

We go to the Maternal-Fetal doctor next Friday for yet another check up.  We haven not decided if we will find out the baby's gender, but getting ultrasounds every 2 weeks is making it very hard to hold out til March!  Once we hit 24 weeks preggo, I think the ultrasounds and doctor appts. are not going to be as frequent.  The goal is 40 weeks, but 23 weeks is when I went into preterm labor with Jonathan, so these upcoming weeks the doctors are going to be watching me and baby like hawks.

Speaking of baby J, today would have been his due date and first birthday!  Crazy that he is already 15 months old.  Like the Psalm above said, the Lord had each of his days ordained from conception, and although we weren't expecting J to come 16 weeks early, God was.  We thank Him every day for the mercy and faithfulness He showed us in the NICU, and even now.  Jonathan is the light of our lives and such a testimony to the power of prayer and the goodness of God.

Jonathan hanging out with Daddy on Little Gasparilla Island.

The weather has finally cooled off a little here, it is in the 50s outside right now, but it will warm up to the low 70s later.  I have a pumpkin cooking in the crock pot for some homemade whole wheat pumpkin muffins, no canned pumpkin in this house!  We'll see how those turn out (you can get the recipe here).  One thing is for sure: this Fall weather really makes me feel domestic!

The much-anticipated cerclage surgery

Yesterday I had the cerclage surgery that I have kind of been dreading.  The main reason was because of the anesthesia, which turned out to be not so bad.  We got to Florida Hospital around 5:30 am and I got called back about 40 minutes later.  They started my IV and I met one of the nurses named Karl.  He was really friendly so that helped ease my nerves.  Then I met the anesthesia team and they were also really friendly - so far, so good.

Once I got back to the OR they had me sit on a table and prop my feet up on a stool, hugging a pillow - the position for an epidural or a spinal (I had the spinal).  I had heard from my pregnant friends that epidurals (which are very similar to spinals) involve big needles and are painful, so this is why I was dreading it the most.  I was hooked up to a heart monitor that beeped with each beat of my heart, so as they sanitized the skin on my back, I would start to think about a big needle aimed at my spinal cord and the beeps would get faster.  I tried deep breathing to bring them back down because I didn't want the whole room to know how nervous I was.  I'm sure they could see it all over my face though because they were all talking to me about pretty much whatever they could think of.  That was really nice of them. 

The nurse anesthetist numbed the area first, so once she got to administering the actual anesthesia, it just felt like someone firmly pressing on my spine, and it was no where near as bad as I thought it was going to be.  They extracted some of my spinal fluid, then replace it with the drugs that made me numb from the waist down.  Within minutes my feet started to feel like they were asleep, and the sensation spread up my legs.  As I described what I was feeling and asked if it was normal, the nurse assured me it was, and looked very pleased that I was feeling that way.  The surgery team laid me down, hung a cloth in front of my face so I couldn't see anything, and the doctor got to work.  The other nurses and nurse anesthetists talked to me for the next 20 minutes while an IPOD that was on shuffle played everything from Whitney Houston to Lady Gaga.  It was such a relaxed environment and once the surgery was over, I was so happy that it had gone nothing like I thought it would.

In the recovery room, I had to keep trying to bend my knees and lift my hips off the bed to prove the numbness was gone.  After about an hour, I passed that test and got to move to a second recovery room, and Jeff was able to join me.  I finally got to eat some crackers and have some Gatorade, since I was ordered not to eat or drink anything after midnight the night before my surgery.  Jeff and I looked at pictures of Jonathan on his phone, and watched an episode of some Gordon Ramsay show where he traveled to India and made Indian food from ant eggs and such.  For my final test I had to use the bathroom.  As I got up to walk over there, my knees almost buckled under my weight.  As I clung to the nurse and Jeff, I was able to make it to the bathroom.  Sadly, there was no action in there and I had to stumble my way back to bed.  I downed the rest of my Gatorade and waited.  After almost 2 hours, a bottle of Gatorade and 1 1/2 liters of IV fluid, I began to worry that I would never be able to use the bathroom (even though I really had to), but I decided I had to try again, and I managed just enough for the nurses to let me go.  I was in so much pain from my bladder still being full and from the surgery that I was not very happy on the way home.  I got feeling back to my hips and abdomen about an hour later though and it was glorious!

Since then, I have been taking Indomethacin to help with the cramping I get occasionally as a result of the stitch.  My entire spine is sore as well, and when I can't take it anymore I take a Hydrocodone and fall asleep.  I try not to take too much medicine for the baby's sake, even though both are fine for pregnant women. 

So, that's my surgery story.  I go for a follow up in 2 weeks to make sure the stitch is holding up and my cervix isn't getting shorter.  I have been instructed to be a couch potato for the next week, which is kind of nice right now because I am still dealing with some soreness.  But once I start feeling better, it will be hard.  I also can't pick my baby up anymore and that it SUPER hard!  But in 6 months, hopefully we will see the fruit of all this. 

The hormones of pregnancy and our experience the last time has made it hard for me to be super positive about the cerclage.  Something like 90% of women who have one carry full term, which is encouraging.  But I can't get rid of this "wait and see" mentality.  I think it will be easier for me to be more positive once I get past 24 weeks (God willing).  I know that God is with me, but I don't know what He has in store for me with this pregnancy and to be honest, that's hard.  I know what the Bible says about worrying, and my future, and God's sovereignty.  Even still, it's hard.  But I am trying to pray myself into trusting Him no matter what, and not worrying about the "what-ifs".  I know my family and friends are praying the same for me.  And so far, this pregnancy is a million times better than the last one, so that should count for something, right?  At least we know what to watch for and are trying to prevent it from happening. 

So, here's to carrying full term!  Only 25 weeks to go...

Is there a doctor in the house?

A lot of medical things going on in the family right now!

Jonathan has had a cold since Monday, and it has been getting worse as the week progresses.  Last night, he only slept for 1-2 hours at a time and stayed awake for almost 2 hours at a time.  All the while, Jeff was in bed with a sinus infection, so I am a tired girl today!  I took Jonathan to the Dr. this morning and we are doing Albuterol breathing treatments until this passes.  He hasn't had a high fever and he is happy when he is awake, so we are thankful for that!  Jeff is also on steroids and antibiotic so hopefully he will be feeling better soon, too.  It's hard on Mommy when both my boys are sick!

Also, Jeff and I went to the Maternal-Fetal specialist yesterday to see what the plan is for this pregnancy.  Just for background:  I had multiple complications with the last pregnancy that may or may not have caused Jonathan to be born early:

1. I have a septated uterus (you can Google that), but we didn't know about it at the time.
2. When Jonathan was born, we discovered E. Coli bacteria had taken up residence in the placenta, anmiotic fluid, and Jonathan's blood stream.  I had no symptoms of this infection, and the body's defense against infection during pregnancy is to get the baby out (otherwise I could've taken antibiotics).
3. I had/have a weak cervix (the part of the body that keeps the baby in), so when Jonathan got too heavy, out he came.  Also, a weak cervix would make it easier for bacteria to travel up to the baby and infect it.

With all that said, it seems like the most likely situation for me is that I have an incompetent cervix.  This is good news because this can be helped with a simple surgery called a cerclage.  It's outpatient surgery that takes only a few hours and a spinal epidural.  The doctor said if this is the reason why Jonathan came early (and they can't be 100% sure that it is), then I have a 90+% chance of carrying the baby full term.  We are so excited about this, I cannot imagine carrying a baby that far!  We are still waiting to hear the exact date of surgery, but it will for sure be two weeks from now.  After that, the doctors will check the stitch every two weeks or so and make sure it is holding up.

After the surgery, I will have to be off my feet for a week or so.  Luckily, my awesome mom is flying in from Texas to help around the house and we are so excited to see her!  She hasn't seen Jonathan since last Thanksgiving so I know she is so excited, too.  He has come so far since then!

Granny and Jonathan, Thanksgiving 2010

Please keep Jeff in your prayers as he waits for relief from the intense pressure in his head, and pray that Jonathan would start to get better soon as well.  Also, please keep me and Baby in prayer as we prepare for surgery and whatever life for our family will look like after that.

Also, any comments or emails about people you know who have had successful cerclages would be much appreciated and encouraging!

Love,

    The Skippers

Goodbye, sweet Summer!

Things have been really busy around here lately.  Summer is pretty much coming to an end for us, and even though we don't have school-age kids, things are still getting into "school mode".  Jeff is in seminary at RTS in Orlando getting his Master's in Biblical Studies.  He is about 1/3 of the way through the program, taking some courses online and driving to the campus for others.  This semester he will be spending all day one day a week in Orlando. 

With school also comes cold and flu season.  Last year at this time, Jonathan was still in the hospital so it wasn't too much of a concern for him (unless we caught it and brought it to him).  But this year, he is a big boy and spends a lot of time around other kids.  There is a particularly dangerous (and very common) virus this time of year called RSV, and babies with damaged lungs like Jonathan has are very susceptible to it.  There is a shot he can get every month to protect him from it, but we are waiting to see if our insurance will cover it again.  If they deny it, we can appeal, but I pray we don't have to go down that road.

This upcoming season I will be starting my second trimester of pregnancy.  We are hoping for a girl but still have a long time until we can find out.  Things are remarkably better with this pregnancy than they were last time.  At 11 weeks pregnant with Jonathan, I was suffering from a subchorionic bleed and was on complete bed rest.  It was no fun, to say the least.  This time, everything is going normally, and morning sickness gets the better of me every 3 days or so.  Hopefully that will be ending soon though.  I am scheduled to see a maternal/fetal specialist because of the way things went with the last pregnancy - more to come on that.

Praying things are well with you all.  Much love from the Skipper Family!

New Things

"He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” - Revelation 21:5

This blog used to be called "Jonathan's Journey" because that was the biggest thing in our lives for a long time. And in a way, Jonathan definitely is still the biggest thing. But God is doing so much within our family that it seemed like a new blog was appropriate. So here is Skipperific.

God has literally made everything new in our lives.  Jonathan is totally healthy and no longer on any medication or oxygen.  I am pregnant again and having a completely healthy pregnancy so far.  Jeff has completed his first year of Seminary with a 3.8 GPA, while working full-time at the church and being an amazing husband and father.  God has provided everything we need, and we are so humbled to see the place of abundance that He has brought us to within the last year.  What a journey!

The suffix -fic means "making or creating".  This blog will hopefully illustrate how the Author and Perfecter or our faith and lives is making and creating the Skipper family into His image, while keeping long distance family and friend updated about our lives.  My hope is that you will see God's sovereignty in our lives, and begin to realize that He is sovereign over yours, too.